こんにちは！
towaですっ♪
さてさて、今日もまったりいきましょう☺
本当はカフェに行きたいのですが、
私はまだコロナワクチンを接種していないので
外出は極力控えるようにしています。
毎回予約戦争に負けてしまうんです～泣。
ワクチン打ちたいかと言われるとそれほど
打ちたくもないのですが、感染したときの
重症率がかなり減るみたい、、
ということで、今日は引きこもりDayです！
今日は雨が降っていますが、雨の日の家作業は
捗るので頑張ろうと思います☺
みなさんは、こころが動かなくなることってありますか？
また、ありましたか？
私は、最近は少し減りましたが
休職する前はかなりありました…。
仕事中はずっと笑顔でにこにこ☺
まるで仮面を被ったかのような作り笑いを、
作り笑いとばれないように。
私の特技といってもいいでしょう笑。
私と同じ人、たくさんいますよね、きっと。
仕事中はとびきりの笑顔☺☺
それなのに、家に帰ると呆然とするだけ。
まるで心が動いていないかのよう。
そんな方、いませんか？？
自分の好きなものや好きなことに対しても、
好き・楽しいと思えなかったり…。
好きであること自体忘れてしまうんですよね。
感動する映画に何も感じなくなったり、
大好きな料理が美味しいと思えなくなったり
することも、、
本当に悲しいことだと思いません泣？？
私の考えですが、心が動かなくなるというのは
辛い気持ちの先に待っているものだと
思います。
辛い、苦しい、しんどい…。
そんな気持ちから自分を守るために
心が動かなくなるんじゃないかな、と。
そうすれば、辛いことも辛いと思うことなく
笑顔で良い子を演じられるから。
体が勝手に自己防衛しているのでは
ないでしょうか。
でも、ある時ふっと心が戻ってくる時が
あって、そのタイミングで辛くて苦しい
気持ちが押し寄せてくる。
それが、涙として溢れてきたり、動けなく
なってしまったり、消えたくなったり、
逃げだしたりするんだと思うんです。
あくまでも、私の考えですが…笑。
心がなくなるって、本当に辛いことなので
絶対に経験しない方が良いと思います。
なくなっている時はまだしも、一瞬戻ってきて
「なんで」が攻めてきた時には
絶望しかありませんから笑。
人間の心や体って、自分が思っているよりも
簡単に壊れてしまうものなんです。
人間最強だと思うなよっ！！笑
自分のSOSを察したときには、
周りのことは何も考えずに
全力で逃げることをおすすめします☺
さて、そろそろ夜ごはんの時間なのですが、
今日は彼が作ってくれるとのこと。
どうやらつけ麺を作ってくれたみたい☺
「簡単なものしか作れないけど…」
と言っていましたが、こちらとしては
それだけでも十分嬉しい♬
今の時期は麺ゆでるだけでも暑くて大変だし…
たとえ簡単な料理でも、美味しい料理が
待っているだけで出てくるなんて
感謝しかないです☺☺
ごはんを食べてお風呂に入った後は、
ケーキを食べながらゲーム。
まったり遊ぼうと思います！
では、今日もお疲れさまでした♪
おやすみなさい～☺☺
コメント
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