こんにちは☺☺
towaです。
さてさて、今日もカフェに行こうと思います。
支度をして、いざ出陣っ！！
私は適応障害になり休職中なのですが、
外出はけっこうできるタイプです。
でも、ずっと元気なわけではなくて、最近は
特に落ち込むことが多いんですよね泣。
これからどうしよう…という不安に
押しつぶされそうな毎日で。
生きていく上で必要なはずのお仕事が
どうしてもできなくて、
この世界で生きることに向いていないので、
“いっそのこと消えたいな”なんて
思うこともあります。
ただ、どうせ消えるなら
好きなことを思う存分楽しんで、
頑張って貯めた貯金も全部使い果たすくらい
遊びまくって
たくさん旅行して
好きなもの食べまくって…
それからがいいな、と思います☺☺
そんな気持ちで毎日生きていますが、
節約ごはんを作っていたり
大好きな服を買わなくなったり
求人サイトを見ていたり
仕事に関する本を読んでいたり
不安に耽る夜を過ごしていたり
無意識に、生きるための行動を
とってしまうんです。
もう終わりにしようと思っているのに、
不思議ですよね笑。
でも、人間そんなもんなんだなって思います。
好きなことをしている時間は
ずっとずっと楽しいし、
好きな人といる時間は
ずっとずっと幸せ。
ずっとこの時間が続けばいいな、って
思ってしまって。
どれだけ消えたいという思いが強くても、
幸せな時間を過ごしているときだけは
ずっと続いてほしいなと感じるんですよね☺
なので、私と同じように”死にたい”
という気持ちを抱えている方は、
“死ぬ前に好きなことを好きなだけしよう！”
と思って好きなように過ごすのがおすすめ！
寝たり、ゲームしたり、大食いしたり、
旅行したり、ぼーっとしたり…。
こころが風邪をひいているのに
頑張ろうとしなくても大丈夫です☺
もうどうなってもいいや～くらいの
気持ちでいきましょ☺☺
さてさて、Seriaに寄って
帰ろうと思います♪
たくさん買っちゃいました！
お掃除用具を浮かせて収納したくて、
歯ブラシホルダーとスポンジホルダーを
購入。
あとは料理に必要なものを…。
きざみねぎやミニトマトの保存用に買った
薬味保存パック、ごはんを作るときの気分を
少しでも上げるための可愛いヘアゴム。
ちょこっとフルーツを盛ったときに使える
ピックも買いましたっ☺☺
ごはんの時間が楽しくなるといいな～♪
さてさて、夜ごはんの準備。
今日のメインはピーマンの肉詰めです！
美味しかった☺☺
彼も私もお肉が大好きなので、
週に1回は、ガツンとしたお肉料理を
出すようにしています。
満腹になったので、お風呂に入って
まったりしようと思います☺
ではまた明日～♪
コメント
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