【Day.25】「苦労した分報われる」そんなサクセスストーリーなんて無い/適応障害の日常

こんにちは!

towaです。

最近は生理中で集中力ややる気の出ない
毎日が続いていましたが、終わりが近づき
少しずつ体調も戻ってきました。

今日もまったり頑張ろうと思います☺☺

ところで、私は休職中なのですが
ほぼ毎日ブログを書いたり動画編集の
勉強をしたりしています。

動画編集の前はプログラミングの勉強に
明け暮れたり、Photoshopがなかなか
身につかずに悩んだりと、
いろんなことをしてきました。

ですが、全く収益に結び付きません笑。

たくさんたくさん頑張ってきましたが、
どうしてもできないんですよね。

でも、プログラミングだったりをやって
ちゃんと食べている人もいるんですよね、、

そういう人と自分の何が違うか考えたとき、
「どれだけ夢中になれているか」
なんじゃないかな、と思いました。

“夢中になれるものなら必ず成功する”とか、
“努力すれば必ず成功する”とか、

そんなことが100%起こるわけではありません
が、少なくとも夢中になっている人には
努力しても勝てないんだな、と思います☺

私は、高校時代吹奏楽部でフルートを
吹いていたのですが、後輩でめちゃくちゃ
上手な子がいたんです。

その子は、誰よりもフルートが好きで
ずっと練習しているような子でした。

練習を練習だと思っておらず、ただ
楽しくてやっていたのかもしれません☺

対して、私は部活に行くことが面倒で、
「フルートは好きだけどなんかだるいな~」
というような気持ちでやっていました。

ただ、副部長兼パートリーダーだったので
必死に苦手を潰して頑張っていたんです。

でも、私よりも後輩ちゃんの方が
圧倒的に上手なんですよね笑。

当時は気づきませんでしたが、今思えば
後輩ちゃんは「夢中」は「努力」に勝ること
を証明してくれたのかな、と思います。

どれだけ頑張ってもこの子には
かなわないな、と思いました。笑

ありがとう後輩ちゃん☺☺

だから今は、自分が夢中になれるものを
見つけようと思います。

夢中になれるものって、見つけようと思って
見つけられるものではないのですが、
普段自分が無意識にやっているものや、
ついやってしまうものは何なのか
考えてみようかな~と、、

以前もお話したのですが、適応障害になると
自分の好きなものを忘れてしまうんです。

好きなものや好きなことって気づいたら
やっていたりするものですが、
それがなんだのかわからず・・・笑。

少しでも早く体調を戻して、
少しでも幸せを感じられる生活に
していきたいなと思います☺

話が変わりますが、
今日は本を買ってきました☺

大好きなYouTuber「パーカー」さんの本。

ほしいほしいと思っていたのですが
そのまま書店からなくなってしまって・・・。

一度諦めてしまった本なのですが、ふらっと
立ち寄ったBOOKOFFで見つけました!

お値段は300円ちょっと☺☺

パーカーさんは、”ぼっち系YouTuber”として
活動している大学生。

たしかに動画では”ぼっち系”感があるのです
が、ひとりでスイパラやお洒落なカフェに
行ったりしていて、なんだか
ぼっちを楽しんでいるように見えます。

そんなところが大好きなんです☺

私も普段ぼっちですが、
ぼっちをこよなく愛しているので
寂しいとか全く思わないんですよね笑。

そんなパーカーさんの本、
読むのがとっても楽しみです!!

もうひとつ、懐かしい本を買ってきました。

マンガアプリ「comico」で読んでいた
「パステル家族」が書籍化されていました☺

思わずくすっと笑ってしまうところが
大好きで、ほっこり癒されるんですよね♡

楽しみすぎる~!!

少し本が傷んでいたのが気になりますが、
お値段はなんと110円。

ありがとうBOOKOFF。

みんなの味方。

今日は早めにお家に帰って
ゆっくりしようと思います☺

明日も素敵な1日になりますように♡

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